Monday, December 8: An Unfortunate (But Sadly Accurate) Tailgating Omen

(As players trickle in to Redskins Park this morning and we wait to hear what Coach Zorn is going to say after an evening reviewing the horror-show tapes from the loss, here’s one pregame omen that got me a bit worried. Justifiably, as it turns out.)

It was one of the most remarkable things about the advance description of the ExtremeSkins tailgate in Baltimore: Mark The Homer was bringing one 72 pound roasted pig. I can see the appeal of a whole roasted animal to serve to a mass of hungry tailgaters, but the whole thing still seemed potentially grim and media-unfriendly to me.

pig01

Roasting a whole hog? At a Redskins tailgate? What would the Hogettes say? Heck, what would the Hogs say?

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I Promised Myself the Title Wouldn’t Be “Redskins Talk Turkey”

roast-turkey

It started with Lorenzo Alexander. I had asked him if he had anything specific planned for Thanksgiving, and he ran through pretty much the basic list of things: family, food, turkey, like that. So I asked, innocently enough, if he preferred his turkey roasted or fried, and he looked at me like I was crazy.

“Definitely fried,” he said, as if there was no other way to do it.

Shaun Suisham, who you may have heard is Canadian, pointed out that this is only his second Thanksgiving, but that he had had a roasted turkey last year that he really enjoyed. I mentioned that I don’t always love turkey, and now Alexander and Suisham BOTH looked at me like I was crazy.

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Tuesday, September 2: Another Cake

It’s been a serious few days, what with the cuts and the associated fanfare, so it seems like something a little lighter is in order. In honor of yesterday’s three Redskins birthdays (and Jamie Mottram’s of Mr. Irrelevant as well), here’s another Redskins decorated cake that turned up in the inbox.

This one was designed and created by Sherry Gold, of Sherry’s Cakes & Bakes, to celebrate the start of football season. “It took me 2 days to make it,” she says. “It’s a chocolate cake with cookies & cream filling and covered in Swiss buttercream and rolled fondant.”

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The Largest Most Frosted Stadium In The NFL

Plenty of strange things turn up in my inbox. Some of them are interesting but useless, some of them are at least worth following up on, some of them are great, and some of them are FedExField made of cake.

Kristi Ferrara of Kristi’s Kakes in the unpleasantly-named Horseheads, NY, had previously emailed to get permission to reproduce the stadium in confectionery for a bar mitzvah, and sent these photos as a follow-up. Three people in the bakery spent 26 hours to create the finished product, and — unlike the actual FedExField — almost the entire thing is edible except for the goalposts and support struts.

“It was a white cake carved into the stadium shape with colored, white-chocolate fondant over the entire cake,” says Ferrara. “The yellow striping along the inside of the seating area was extruded with a special sugar extruder. The goal posts were simple lollipop sticks. The arboreal decorations around the base of the stadium are solid sugar.”

Once the cake was completed she sent along pictures of the completed product to show her results.

Not included are small spun-sugar tailgaters, car-shaped cookies, cupcake portajohns, or a tinted phyllo dough parking lot. You might think expecting such nuances is excessive, but their leopard cake sets the bar frighteningly high for detailing.

Friday, August 15: Pineapple Express in Redskins Park

Colt Brennan seems like a pretty good guy, from what I’ve seen. Generous with his time, happy to talk to fans and reporters and the like … the whole stereotypical laid-back Hawai’i thing really seems to have rubbed off on him. Sometimes, being a nice guy pays unexpected dividends, in this instance three cases of fresh pineapples.

“I signed some autographs for some people, and they sent me these to thank me, I guess,” he says. “But I’m still in a hotel for at least another week, and don’t have a kitchen.” Brennan takes two for himself and offers the rest to anyone who wants them, which turns out to be just about everyone who walks through the lobby of Redskins Park.

The only one to offer a specific method for eating them, though, is Fred Smoot.

“What you do is you cut the top off of it, take out the core, and put it in the refrigerator to get nice and cold. I used to make something called a ‘drunken pineapple,’ but I don’t do that no more.”

(Published at 7:55.)