Tuesday, December 16: Not Mathematically Eliminated

fanvideostill

I never, ever say this, but ESPN’s Mike & Mike in the Morning had something right today. Breaking down the NFC playoff picture, they ran through permutations for the Giants, the Panthers, the Cardinals, the Vikings, the Bucs, the Falcons, the Cowboys, the Eagles, and even the Bears. Then they dismissed the Saints and Redskins as not mathematically eliminated, but needing so much help as to not even be worth discussing.

This is probably the most accurate analysis I have ever heard from that particular duo. Especially since any hypothetical Redskins playoff scenario requires the team to win its last two games, something that — after Cincinnati — there’s no particular reason to think they can do.

But for the fanatical optimists and die-hard masochists among you, here (thanks to the awesome Yahoo Playoff Scenario Generator) is the astronomically unlikely series of events you are rooting for over the next two weeks.

Washington Redskins

    Need to beat Philadelphia and win at San Francisco.

Atlanta Falcons

    Must lose at Minnesota, and to St. Louis at home.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

    Must lose to the Norv Turner memorial duo of San Diego, and Oakland at home.

Chicago Bears

    Must lose either to Green Bay or at Houston (or both, of course).

Dallas Cowboys

    This is the really complicated one. If Dallas loses to Baltimore, they must also lose to Philadelphia in the final week of the season, which — if the planets have aligned and all the other improbable events above have taken place — puts the Skins in the playoffs with the Eagles.

    But if Dallas TIES Baltimore in the last game at Texas Stadium, it becomes necessary for the Cowboys to beat the Eagles to send the Cowboys and Redskins to the playoffs. Any other result and the two 9-6-1 (or 9-5-2) records knock the Redskins out.

Philadelphia Eagles

    See “Washington Redskins” and “Dallas Cowboys”.

Even considering this possibility just exemplifies the kind of thinking that makes this fan video about watching the Redskins in December so hilariously true. (Contains mild, brief profanity, and also is the source of the picture above.)

Hat tip to the Fatpickled blog for pointing out the video.

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57 Responses

  1. That YouTube video was like looking in the mirror (minus figuring out the Skins play-off picture)!

    Everyone knows (they just can’t admit it yet!) the Skins have a half melted snowball’s chance in hell!!!!

  2. I’ve got a mathmatical problem for you…How do the redskins solve all their problems on the d-line, o-line, L-backer, punter, kicker and so on with only 4 picks in the 2009 draft. I believe we have a 1,3,5 and 6. 2 went to miami for that sacking machine taylor and 4 to jets for kendall.

    Thank god we didnt trade that 1 to bengals for ocho.

  3. Call me crazy, but the way this season has gone in the NFL, who’s to say we won’t end up in a wild card round with the Cowboys! But on a serious note, Jack just brought up a hell of a point. What tricks do the Danny and Vinnie have up their sleeve for this one? 20 bucks says it’s not a good one.

  4. To all who can make a difference,

    The key to winning in football, starts with the lines. Just like the key to winning in baseball starts with the pitcher.

    Fix the lines!

    I would like to see the redskins win something other then a regular season game.

    Brian from New Jersey

  5. I hate the way we have used free agency in the past…SPLASH, SPLASH!!! I hope we are smart about it this year!! Don’t pick up free agents until after the draft (much like last year)!! If we can’t draft any potential starting O-linemen, we’ll have to pick them up in free agency!! Please no “quick fixes” we need youth!!

  6. Forget the playoffs! Start evaluating for the future. Start building in the trenches meaning Oline and Dline. Hire a real football guy to oversee Vinny Cerato’s player personnel decisions to allow us to bring in real passionate football players. Add an Offensive coordinator to help out Zorns rapidly distressed and aging self.

  7. So your saying we have a chance….Awesome!!!!!!

  8. It would have been much easier if the skins would have beat the winless Rams, and 1 win Bengals. Whe a team scores only one td per game they are not worthy to go to the playoffs. The season is over and I think that PR should be a rookie, WR rookies should be in and a look at some of the rookie DL OL. No sense waiting unitl next season to find out you need more players.

  9. The pro-Bowl roster is coming out! The Skins will be sending…let’s see there’s Portis, Fletcher, and um…

  10. Right both thomas and kelly should start. The offensive lineman we drafted in the 3rd round should start. If we dont start fred davis, he should play alot. Lets see what we got in the draft. We are not goin to make the playoffs no way. So let campbell try to get some action with the wrs of the future.

  11. Pro bowl lol i dont think portis is going to make the pro bowl sorry and fletcher will get jerked again. Sorry, peterson is a lock and so i turner to make the pro bowl and since they only take 3 backs well forte from the bears will go. As for fletcher, well he had a good year and is more likely to make the pro bowl over portis but i think he will get left out leaving the redskins with no pro bowler, well maybe cooley will sneak in but thats it. I would vote hall but springs knocked down his pro bowl int.

  12. Brian from NJ has is right.

    Taking into consideration free agency, our draft needs to go: DE, DE, DL, OL, LB, OL, DL

    And sign DeAngelo LONG TERM – send SPRINGS packin’

    Just one man’s opinion

  13. I’m pretty sure we only have 4 draft picks! Didn’t we give the others away last year??

  14. I was too lazy to research that – but as was just mentioned on a radio show I was listening to – it’s all about gettin’ after the QB – which we don’t do – that is the cure to a number of our problems. Do that, shore up the O-line a bit and unleash the young receiving core and hope for the best. Oh yeah – steal a young RB as well.

  15. As FRUSTRATING as this season has been, at least its football!! February is getting closer and closer!! Sob, Sob, Weep!!!

  16. I know I’m beating a dead horse but who in their right minds say that the Redskins have a chance for the playoffs?

    I rarely quote coaches but the comment about they have a chance leaves me no choice but to quote coach Mora:

    “PLAYOFFS?!! , PLAYOFFS?!!!!”… THAT WAS WAY TOO EASY TO LET SLIP AWAY….

    Aloha to this year-and like I say every year, “Better luck next year”…

  17. What’s most frustrating is listening to all those people I was chirpin’ at when we were 6-2. I’m getting verbally abused everywhere I go because everyone knows what a die hard Skins fan I am. I need a 4 day stint in Vegas to lose my mind and wake up from this nightmare. At least with this economy it will be a cheap trip. Hip, hip……………nah.

  18. did you say Playoffs?

  19. Steve,

    I couldn’t agree more!!(responding to your comment about February).

    Yeah, there’s FOOTBALL SEASON and OFF SEASON. What else is there???

  20. Women, Gambling, Booze, Poker and Golf

  21. Truly a video for the ages!!!
    Thanks, all!

  22. Ray M,

    Some of us are married with kids!! Sorry, my friend, I’m going to have to give you the BUZZER on that one!!

  23. Well then, yes, it will be a long off season for you Steve.
    I’ll think of you next time I’m lightin’ up a Kuba Kuba on the 1st tee at my country club just after getting off the phone with my bookie and enjoying the Captain and Coke that was just delivered by the hot little cart girl.

    GO SKINS!!

  24. Ray M.

    Women,Gambling,Booze,Poker and Golf??? Spoken like a true single dude….

  25. God Bless devoted, ever-optimistic Skins fans everywhere!
    Happy Holidays!!!

  26. Hey Ray M,

    I’ve got you beat….

    I will be thinking of YOU the next time I set sail on my 2 million dollar yacht,drinking authentic Hawaiian guava juice freshly squeezed as I sail around the entire Hawaiian Islands and I hit golf balls of my third deck with Tiger,Phil and Sergio and of course, Charles Barkley and Micheal Jordan as I bet who can hit the farthest. YEAH, THAT’S THE TICKET!!!

    pffffff……

  27. What playoff hopes the Skins do have will come to an end when the Eagles beat us sunday…Our defense is outta gas and the Eagles offense score alot of points,something our pathetic offense can’t do to save their lives.

  28. Its peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat.

  29. Anyone can rally with a team when they are winning and bash a team when they are losing…anyone. Now is the time to find out who our bandwagon/fair weather fans are and who are the REAL fans. We may be disappointed in our team right now but we let our team down when we let the Steelers fans overtake our stadium. Now is the time that the Redskins need our support. Who is going to be a real fan? I know I am and have been for over 25 years.

  30. Hey Ray M,

    I think Keith just called you out, son!!! Let Keith and I know your next tee time…we’ll be there bright and early!! (yyeeah, rriiight!!)

  31. Carrie,

    Support? Support? They need way more than support. You mention something about being a REAL FAN.

    A REAL FAN knows what’s wrong and has a comment or a suggestion(s) on how to fix it. REAL FANS don’t get upset when their team loses, but HOW they lose. I’ve watched them over the course of the season. I knew something was not right with the way they played against. St. Louis.
    I seen the “Kinks” in the armor and it was finally exposed through the course of this depressing 1-5 record.

    Support you say? More like LIFE SUPPORT!!

  32. Steve,

    I will pick you up in my private space ship and beam you up and we can met Ray M. at his ” COUNTRY CLUB”….. YEAH, THAT’S TICKET.. Because I own the country club…. YEAH, THAT’S THE TICKET….

    LOL!!!!!!

  33. Carrie,

    And Oh by the way, I’ve been a fan for the past 27 years…

    From Theisman to Rypien to Campbell, From Riggins to Byner to Portis

    From 14-2 to 1-15 and now projecting 8-8 for this season.

    And I will be there always!!!! HAIL REDSKIN NATION!!!!!!

  34. Keith,

    Try not to be too hard on fans like Carrie!! Some of us know more about blocking schemes, pass routes, and defensive sets more than others!!!

    I think that make people like us even more frustrated than people like Carrie!!

    Sometimes ignorance (not you, Carrie) truely is bliss!!

  35. I absolutely agree with the posters who believe that yu MUST build from the lines out. Your nothing without a o and d-line. We prove that every year. Like i said earlier we only have 4 picks. going to have to rely on free agency again.

    Does anyone know where i can find a good free-agent list foor 2009?
    What does everyone think we should do with that 1st pick? I say best of either d or o line….

  36. Unfortunately, we have to react to who’s available when our number is called. Sometimes picking up a player/position that someone else needs, can be a great bargaining chip!!!

  37. Steve,

    By all means I am not picking on Carrie. In fact, I respect the comment and the passion. Its just too bad we cannot pass that kind of passion to the team.

  38. Preach on Brother Keith!!!

  39. We need to trade all the picks away for Jerry Rice and then sign Michael Jordan to play running back and split carries with Portis. THIS is the formula for success. /sarcasm

  40. I love Mike & Mike, but they’re media. And the sports media doesn’t talk much about the Redskins regardless of how they do. You can bet your house if the Cowboys were in the same position as the Skins, they would still be talking about them.

    American’s Team? – Bah! Humbug!

  41. Tune in Fox Sports Radio in the AM!! Steve Czaban is a Skins fan!! He’s just as sarcastic and disgruntled as the rest of us!!!

  42. It would be nice to see Vinny being beat up in a youtube video by a fan….That would make a great stocking stuffer

  43. Eugene,

    I think the only reason that the Cboys are in the media more than our Skins is because of that Drama Queen Owens.

    Oh wait, I meant absolutely no disrespect to Drama Queens!

    To think, we almost could’ve have one.. Ocho cinco demayo….

  44. Paul,

    Please-There’s no excuse for violence..

    Had to put in that Public Service Announcement….

  45. Durant back on the practice squad. I don’t get Vinny. His team has tanked because it has no depth and now he brings back a punter. Just one more reason to get rid of Vinny. He can’t judge talent

  46. Please put the rookie in. I have been watching Jason Campbell since last year. He is down right horrible. Put the rookie in and win out.

    been a skins fan for 20 years. If the coaches can’t see this guy is horrible… they must also go… For the love of god … someone stand up, do there job and make the call.

    Bench this QB NOW.

    Regards
    Mark

  47. mountainman1234: Brooks is on the practice squad, yes, but it’s in Green Bay. http://www.piercecountyherald.com/articles/index.cfm?id=89942&section=homepage&property_id=19

  48. Can someone explain to me how Seller (no offense Mike) got in over Fletcher??

    Did the voters actually WATCH any of the games!!!

  49. What about Cooley? Why in the world is he going? IF that’s the case, we can make an argument for Randle-El,Moss,Kelly,Brennan,couple practice squad dudes, and Santa Claus to go to the Pro Bowl….

  50. C’mon man,

    Santa doesn’t play until after December 25, remember!!!

  51. Sorry guys, but I too made the Pro Bowl.

  52. And who else were they supposed to pick? Donald Lee? Alge Crumpler? Singletary probably voted for Vernon though…that’s nice of him…

  53. I believe if they would have beat the Rams and the Bengals, they would be in the driver seat right now

  54. Neither is the Skins Hall of Fame in Loudoun County. Look at this Fairfax spending the big bucks now

    http://herrity.balancegroup.us/2008/12/15/the-redskins-hall-of-fame/

  55. i calculated the odds against the skins making the playoffs and we are looking at somewhere between 57:1 (realistically) and 14:1 (optimistically). That translates to a lower range of 1.7% and an upper range of 6.6%.

    I know if I were to make a wager I wouldn’t take anything less than 30:1.

    also, contrary to what was said in this post—if dallas loses to the ravens, then the dallas-philly game is irrelevant

  56. Mikey B,

    Please tell me, you didn’t actually run numbers at 2:32AM!!!

    I am OK at math too…some equations aren’t necessary just watch the games!!!

    We’ll all be watching other teams in the play-offs!!!

    Thats OK though this was a rebuilding year!!! The problem is this TRAIN RECK is going to take another 2 years to fix!!!

  57. Mikey B: Good catch. Here’s how that should’ve read: if Dallas TIES Baltimore, then they have to beat the Eagles for the Skins to get in. Otherwise the two 9-6-1 records (assuming everything else goes according to plan) beat the 9-7.

    I’ve updated the post accordingly.

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