Based on this morning’s SportsCenter and the dramatic layout of the Post’s Sports section, I’m still one of about five people on the planet Earth who didn’t think Clinton Portis‘s comments yesterday were the single worst thing ever to occur. We’re at that point in the season where tensions run high anyhow, and this seems to have pushed Redskins fans even closer to the edge.
So it feels like an optimal time to look back at something completely lighthearted and unrelated to the current drama.
Before every game, before the official pregame warmups, Chris Cooley, Todd Yoder, and Colt Brennan get together and try to hit the crossbar of the goalpost with the ball. (This video doesn’t cover the whole contest, but it does give a large chunk of the matchup before the Sunday Night Dallas game.)
“We’ve done it on and off in the past,” Yoder said, “but this year when Colt came we set up a specific little game to play and started doing it every week.”
“It’s a popular game,” Cooley said. “Quarterbacks, kickers and punters have been doing it forever. We started the competition series this preseason with the three of us.”
Competition series rules are as follows, according to Brennan: “Five attempts from the five yard line, four from the ten, three from the 15, two from the 20, one from the 25. All three of us play the first round, then the two winners go to the second round, so it’s like a playoff for the championship.”
Opinions differ as to what the championship actually is. “There is no prize,” Cooley said.
Yoder disagreed slightly. “The prize is just pride. The pride of knowing that you won that week. It’s for manhood. Who is the biggest man that day.”
“It’s to see who’s the coolest,” Brennan offered. “For that day, I mean. Until the next Sunday.”
And that week’s winner?
Colt Brennan. “I won the first round and then went to the second round,” he said. “Even more dramatic, Cooley was beating me in the second round after I had crushed him in the first round. I hit two in a row from 20 yards to win it.”
“He did,” Yoder confirmed. “He hit two from the 20 back-to-back, which is like unheard of from that distance. It is a 30 yard throw, the goal post is six feet high, and you’re hitting a beam this big. It is pretty impressive.”
“Two in a row,” Cooley said, shaking his head. “That is ridiculous. Those two alternate, but beat me every time. Yoder beat me two weeks ago. Colt beat me three weeks ago. Yoder beat me four weeks ago.”
But Colt is a quarterback. Shouldn’t he naturally excel at this sort of thing? “It’s not like we all don’t throw the ball around a lot,” Cooley said. “I mean it’s not like I can’t throw the football.”
Do you think his position gives him any advantage at all, though? “Probably. I don’t know. It’s not like the target is moving. It’s a thin bar. Once you practice it a couple of times, it’s not that hard to make that throw.”