It’s always fun when boxes and boxes of stuff show up unannounced for players on the team. I doubt anything will match the sublime joy of Colt Brennan faced with dozen of fresh pineapples, but yesterday’s mail was certainly interesting: four cases of Texas Pete hot sauce for Fred Smoot.
(The picture, obviously, is from the pineapple event, but I wasn’t lucky enough to have my camera handy when Smoot was carrying the hot sauce to his car.)
Anyhow, Smoot took about half of it to his car and gave the rest away. Safties coach Steve Jackson was handing out bottles to anyone who wanted it, and the last bit wound up in the kitchen, close enough to the coffee machine that people were asking if you were supposed to add it to your coffee.
I caught up with Smoot during open locker room today to ask him what prompted this particular windfall.
“I did a show,” he said, “and I was just playing with the hot sauce that I had, and I said ‘This is sponsored by Fred Smoot and Texas Pete Hot Sauce,’ and next thing I knew Texas Pete sent me about 400 bottles of hot sauce, and I love it. Thanksgiving’s coming up, too.”
(I’m still not sure what Thanksgiving has to do with anything, and Smoot never really clarified it.)
So what do you put it on?
“Greens! Chicken! Everything! You can put hot sauce on anything. Even with food that’s nasty, you put hot sauce on it, you can eat it.”
I don’t love exclamation points, but Smoot was really emphatic, and it’s the simplest way to convey that. Chris Wilson chimed in at this point, noting, “You can put it on eggs.”
“Yeah!” Smoot continued. “You can put it on everything. It gets to the point that, like, your wife cooks something, you don’t want to eat that [stuff], you just put hot sauce on it.”
Okay, I said, thinking of the bottles in the kitchen, Do you put it in your coffee?
“Oh, no way,” Smoot said, looking at me like I was out of my mind.
So not quite everything, I guess.